Fixing Our Eyes on The Unseen

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18

Sunday service at our apartment has always been interesting, but last Sunday had an extra dynamic. Chad and I were babysitting a 6 week old baby and his older brother for our “charter members” and friends who were in need of a date night. It’s been a while since I have cared for a newborn baby overnight. I forgot how much they like to keep people company in wee hours of the morning. It was a joy to spend time with Micah, but I knew Sunday morning would be an adventure.

A few weeks ago we started having two services on Sunday. From 9:30 to 10:30 we have children’s church and from 10:30 to 11:30 we have adult services. I actually woke up feeling pretty rested, and Chad was merciful enough to buy donuts for breakfast. I had used the late night hours to study for my lesson, so I was confident to teach.

The children arrived and Micah decided to help out by taking an extra long nap. About mid way through my lesson Chad got a call from the security guard at our apartments. About a week earlier Chad had trouble getting through the gate and asked this guard what the code was. After they talked for a while Chad gave him his card.

Much to our surprise he was calling to find out what time our services start. We have a few other adults who have started coming on Sunday morning regularly. One lady is a widow and prayer warrior. She serves her neighbors in the apartment complex where she lives and has a heart for missions.

After Chad prayed and as he began to preach our neighbor walked through the door. He described how he had moved here from New York to get away from a life of crime and has lived here for only a few months. As Chad preached he listened and followed along in his borrowed Bible.

Sunday afternoon Chad and I were reflecting on our day. Even though it was kind of crazy we were grateful to have had so many children come and to see God moving in the lives of those around us. About that time “Jerry”, the security guard, called. He was under conviction during the sermon about the way he had been living. He said he came to church in search of answers for his life. Chad asked him if he had ever asked Jesus into his heart. He had not. I bowed my head and prayed at our table as Chad led this man to Jesus over the phone.

I don’t know how to explain how we got here – to this place. It is a place of perfect peace in the center of God’s will. Everyday God proves His love for us and His love for those around us. It is in the precious notes and gifts from perfect strangers and longtime friends who are a part of our extended family of God. We are strengthened daily by the prayers of so many of you. Our church family at Quail Springs have served faithfully with us all summer, young and old alike, making lunches, walking door to door, and serving popsicles poolside while children listen to a Bible story.

We have benefitted from wisdom and guidance from Pastors Hance Dilbeck, Ray Griffin and Greg Penna. We’ve been blessed by support from Chad’s family and my mother. We have also grown through a healing of our hearts and renewed sense of calling that can only come from our Heavenly Father.

If we’re looking at our lives in the physical we don’t really amount to much, but when we consider the work God is doing, the souls saved and lives changed we feel unstoppable. We have a glimpse of the walk Paul describes in 2 Corinthians 4: 6-18

“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. It is written: ‘I believed; therefore I have spoken.’ With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Sold Out

“Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added. . .” Matthew 6:33

Last week in the midst feeding kids we received a call that the compressor at our home in Amarillo had gone out. I’m not sure what connection Air conditioner compressors have to the universe, but if there is ever a bad time for them to go out – they pick the worst. We were pouring every dime and bit of energy into the work here, and truly did not have the money to drive to Amarillo, much less make the repairs. After we prayed and considered all our options (none of them very good) we decided to go to Amarillo and sell the items we had stored in an attempt to make the money we needed.

It was a quiet drive. The kids were sleeping, and Chad and I both were thinking about how we’d get through the next 24 hours. It’s in moments like these that Satan really doesn’t even have to bring out the big guns to discourage. He can just make a few subtle observations to bring us down. Like, “. . .weren’t you just telling people how great God is all week. Now, you’re resorting to having a garage sale to save a house you aren’t living in?”

We arrived late and woke up early, left the kids in Nana’s care and drove to the old house. I love our old house. It’s in a nice neighborhood and has a pretty yard. In the front is an herb garden my dad helped us build for mother’s day; then Chad built a fenced in garden off the front yard with a view of the park.

I tried not to even look that direction as we opened the gate leading to the storage building containing the last of our worldly possessions. “Trust me, there’s some good stuff in here.”, Chad reassured me. I knew there would be it was all the things, that at one time, we thought we couldn’t live without. While it was good we hadn’t driven this far to sell a perfume bottle collection, I wasn’t thrilled to be setting “our life” out on the lawn.

Piece by piece we did just that. Piece by piece it was carried away until by the end of the day we had made enough (with a little left over) to buy a new A/C compressor all without even setting out a sign. We went ahead and called the guy over to make the repairs, and drove away feeling victorious.

We arrived back in Oklahoma in time to get a good nights rest. The next morning we had the opportunity to speak to several Sunday School classes at Quail Springs Baptist Church. We let people know about the ministry God has made possible so far this summer. Many of them are already involved and wanted to know about our future plans.

It’s hard to think about our own future much less the future of Truth Baptist when we are buried in what appear to be desperate circumstances. Even so, in all of what God has brought our family through He is teaching us there is nothing in this world as trust worthy as His word. Nothing is more powerful than a life lived for Him and we should seek after His Kingdom with our whole hearts. We won’t be disappointed with the result.

In I Kings 18: 20 – 39 we find Elijah challenging the false god of weather, Baal. He told the 450 prophets of Baal to choose a bull, quarter it and put it on their altar. Then he told them to pray for their god to light the fire. After a full day of yelling, cutting themselves and “raving” the prayers to Baal fell on deaf ears. There was no fire and the sacrifice was not consumed.

In verse 30 in says, “Then Elijah said to all the people, ‘Come near me.” So all the people approached him. Then he repaired the Lord’s altar that had been torn down.”Elijah set twelve stones representing the tribes of Israel in the name of Yahweh. He dug a trench around the altar and instructed the Israelites to drench the altar with water, not once, not twice but three times.

I can’t get away from the impossible scenario Elijah is creating here. If he’s trying to earn his fire starter merit badge he lost it at digging a trench around the altar and filling it with water.

In show business there is a term used called, “planned spontaneity”. It may look like David Letterman just hops up from his desk and walks down to the sandwich shop and ends up back at his desk to great laughs from the audience. What the unsuspecting public doesn’t realize is that these stunts are all perfectly timed, well rehearsed, scripted actions built in to generate interest.

That is what Elijah was doing here. He wasn’t pacing back and forth, hoping God would come through. He knew no matter how much he drenched that wood the Creator of the universe was in control and could send fire without difficulty. In doing the elaborate show, he got the attention of those who had seen the Baal fall to shame.

In verse 36 it says, “Elijah the prophet approached the altar and said, ‘LORD God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, today let it be known that You are God in Israel, and I am Your servant, and that at Your word I have done all these things.”

In order for what we’ve been through personally to make sense and in order to have hope for the future, we must settle some issues in our hearts. Is our faith in God or are we praying at the altar of a false idol? Are we truly serving Him and obeying His word? If so, we should pray with confidence! It is just a matter of time until His word comes to fruition in our lives.

Finally, Elijah prayed, “Answer me, LORD! Answer me so that this people will know that you Yahweh, are God and that You have turned their hearts back.”

Then God sent the fire. His word says Yahweh’s fire fell consuming the offering the stones and the dust. It even burnt up the water in the trench. “When all the people saw it, they fell facedown and said, Yahweh, He is God! Yahweh, He is God!”

The Alpine Loop

The summer I came home from college mom, dad and I set out on a crazy adventure. Dad had just bought an international Scout II and wanted to test it’s limits so we planned a trip to Colorado. He welded a rack on the top of the Scout to hold our gear and we hit the road.

The plan was to drive the Scout up through ATV trails and camp, in a tent, in remote areas that big campers can’t go. We drove through Wolf Creek pass, into Silverton and Durango. At the time I bemoaned the fact that Dad would wake up every morning and drive us into town for a donut and to find a Kmart. He was in search of the ultimate mattress pad that would make sleeping on the ground more comfortable. With every stop to Kmart the gear on top of the Scout would get higher and higher. It got ridiculous. We looked like a band of Gypsies pulling into town. To make matters worse, every morning we had to restack all our gear onto the top of the Scout so we could set out on the next adventure. When we’d pass under a bridge dad would jokingly ask me to get out and check the clearance.

One morning, mom and I came out of the KOA bathroom from taking our first real shower in days. Dad was sitting behind the wheel with his cap on looking at a map. He had found an old mule trail, called The Alpine Loop. It was a 65 mile strip of road full of hair pin turns through the San Juan mountains boasting two 12,000 foot passes. It was one of those, “Only the strong will survive” kind of drives. Dad wanted to drive it and he wanted mom and I to go along.

Before I knew it I was staring down the side of the mountain. There were literally only inches of clearance on the side of Dad’s tires. The mist was making the mud slick. At one point the nose of the Scout was pointed directly up in the air but Dad just kept climbing up the mountain, loving every minute of it. Once I realized we probably weren't going to die, I could appreciate the rare and beautiful view of the terrain.

I’ve been thinking about my dad all day. I miss him. I wish I could thank him for sharing so much of his life with me. He blessed me in every way he could. Most importantly, he showed me how much better the view is when you dare to take the road less travelled.

Diving In To The 6

My new favorite pass time is watching our boys swim. Sean has a new swim suit with floaties in it. He calls it his “shark suit” and David can swim on his own. The other night Ruby was already asleep and it was still warm outside, so I took the boys to swim.

David chose to start out his swim with a dive into the deep end. As he put his toes to the edge of the pool all the other neighborhood kids just stared; then when he jumped in they gasped and screamed at me, “Ooooooh! Miss Anna! Your son just jumped in ‘the 6’” “The 6?” I wondered. Then I looked and realized they were referring to the deep end of the pool. I wanted to find out how their mothers had so instilled the fear into their children about not swimming in “the 6”! By the looks on their faces they were imagining David met his fate in the mouth of a shark.

I couldn’t get “the 6” out of my mind for the rest of the night. It’s like I finally had a picture of the way I had been living before the last six months – really the last year. We are starting to see glimpses of Divine providence as our family has been plunged in to the deep. It was time to sink or swim. When we dive into the Glory of our Heavenly Father, the deeper we dare go the more beautiful our relationship with Him becomes.

If you don’t care to read some of the lessons I’ve learned you can stop reading here. But I thought I’d share some things that have changed about who I am in this process. Maybe someone else can relate. I’ll try to limit myself to 6 deeper things I’ve learned about life.

1. God’s power and attributes are as real as the air we breath. He never fails to see His plan for our lives through. Though we may face difficult circumstances, pain, death, and discouragement - God is there and He is working.

2. The power and attributes of God are not attached to any other name, denomination, mode or method other than JESUS. There is no other name where by we can receive Salvation, live to the fullest, and enjoy eternal life.

3. While it is painful to know that others, even Christians, can hurt me with their words and actions; I cannot attempt to shield myself by making my highest goal pleasing or impressing others. I have to “fix my eyes on Jesus. The author and finisher of my faith.” Hebrews 12:2 (paraphrased)

4. God made Chad and I for one another. Our love has been put to the test. We’ve laughed, cried and worked through difficult issues in bad circumstances with admiration and respect for each other. Through it all we see how enduring our love is.

5. David, Sean and Ruby are amazing kids. God has given Chad and I both the gift of time to spend with them like we’ve never had before. Slowing down and paying more attention to them has done wonders for all of us.

6. Someone told me not too long ago that to encourage someone means you’re giving them courage to “go for it!”. I would have lost heart with out the encouragement of many of you. I've learned when you dive in the deep end of life your true friends become easy to identify. They’re the ones cheering for you to kick your feet and SWIM!

Can’t wait to see what’s in “the 7” ☺

A Safe Place to Run

I had just dropped the boys off at school and was unloading Ruby from the car when we noticed the sound of angry voices arguing across the yard and immediately became concerned for the children living there. The oldest, who is in the first grade, was suspended from school for taking a pocket knife and the younger three children were home for sure.

In the last few weeks our apartment has become a hub of activity

and we love it. Everyday after school the kids know they can stop by for cookies or fruit. The weather has been nice enough to leave the door open so kids and neighbors come and go as they please. This particular family of children spend lots of time at our house eating and playing and they never want to go home. The youngest boy who is Ruby's age who she calls "Binky", tells David and Sean everyday that he wants to live with us. We have been praying for them each by name because we knew something wasn't right in their home.

After unloading the groceries, We came inside and went to work on the house which was still a mess from our "Lobster Fest" the night before. About thirty minutes later there was a quick knock on the door, it opened and the little boy "T" and his sister ran through, locking it behind them. "Miss Anna! Can we hide here! Our uncle is beatin' our momma!"

"Ofcourse!" I said while hugging them tightly. With an unforgettable look of terror on his face he said, "The babies are still in there!" At first, I wasn't sure what to do. Even though it is a short walk to their apartment, I didn't want to leave Ruby or take her with me not knowing what I'd be walking in to. Honestly, I thought if I knocked on their door they might either let me take the three year old and eight month old or at least they'd calm down.

Turns out they did neither. From the front door I could hear the man cursing at their mother, commanding her to "calm down" She was bawling and trying to catch her breath, responding every time with, "I'm trying, I'm sorry, I'm trying."

The best thing I could do at that point was lock the oldest kids in our apartment, call the police then call Chad to come home from work. Just as I was closing the door, in ran 3 year old "Binky"! He had made it safely across the yard. After calling for help, I gave everybody a lunchable and some milk; then at "Binky's" request turned on some cartoons.

Suddenly I heard a loud banging on our front door and the sound of the uncle's voice yelling. "Are the kids in there?" I told him through the door that the kids were eating their snacks and I'd be glad to bring them home when they were finished. Through the peep hole I could see him pacing back and forth. He knew the police had been called and I was determined to keep the children with me until the police took him away. I kept praying for either the police or Chad to walk up at that moment.

Shortly after he left our door step, the police arrived. Apparently other people from our complex had also called to complain. Watching from our front porch I was sad and disgusted to see the mother putting on her best fake smile to cover for this dirt bag. She stood there shaking with marks on her neck and face and let the guy drive away. She refused to press charges.

Later, she came over to get the kids with her bags packed. She asked Chad if he would drive her to her sisters house. I begged her to let the kids stay until she found a safe place. We offered to take her to a shelter, but she claimed to have family to stay with out of town. She went on to say, "I told the kids, 'whenever he starts beating on me, you just run to Annie and Chad's!' "

Less than 24 hours later she was right back at the guys apartment for the rest of the weekend.

On Sunday the boys came over for dinner. "T" was sitting at our table. He said, "Do you know how we got away the other day? He started beating our momma so we waited until he took her in the bedroom and closed the door. I grabbed my sister and we ran as fast as we could to your door."

We told "T" Sunday how much Jesus loves him, and promised to do everything we could to keep that man from being out on the streets. In the mean time, "T" knows God sent us here so he could have a safe place to run.

Muddy Easter

This morning Chad and I woke to a bolt of lightening followed directly by a loud clap of thunder. If it's true that the distance can be told by how many seconds pass between the two, I'd say the storm was at our front door. The sound of rain hitting our window replaced the sun that would usually shine through.

Already, we had cancelled the outdoor Easter picnic plans because of the chance of rain and cold temperatures. We were hoping it would atleast hold off until after church this morning.

Last week was beautiful. Kids were out playing so we just opened up the front door. We fed lots of kids and our families breakfast then I taught 12 children in Sunday School under the tree.

This week, Chad was ready to preach his first Easter sermon, but I had to pare down my lesson plans for lack of space and participants in doors.

Still one faithful little family, the Balderas' came across the yard with a hot breakfast in hand.

For Ruby's birthday her Mimi and Papa had given her a perfectly white polka dot dress which she wore this morning with her light pink tights and white shoes.

After they had eaten breakfast, while the adults were still visiting, the kids went straight out the front door to play like they always do.

Ruby lead the way. David and Josiah came back in immediately. They're not crazy! It was rainy and cold.

About five minutes later Sean came up to the door with Ruby. Ruby ran through the front door giggling and scot free, but not Sean! Sean was covered knee deep in red Oklahoma MUD!

I jumped up from my seat and stopped him at the door. Made him leave his boots off, but his socks and pants were soaked and muddy.

I took him back to the room, scolding him all the way. Really I was upset with myself for letting him go outside in the first place.

We replaced his pants and he put on his sandles. While I huffed and puffed about it he said, "Mom, do you know why Ruby didn't get muddy but I did? I saw her about to step in the mud and I had already stepped in it so I picked her up and carried her to you."

Now, having been a mom for a while, I'm sure this may have been a clever attempt to get himself off the hook. But tonight, as I think about what Sean did, it is a picture of what Jesus does for His children.

One day we will stand before our Heavenly father. The only explanation for the stain of sin missing off of our lives will be when Jesus comes to our defense.

2 Corinthians 5:21 says

"He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."

It is only through Jesus we can be made clean and granted access to the Father. Because He bore our sin on the cross. On this day and every other I am so thankful for this truth.

Give and It Shall Be Given. . .

“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Luke 12:32-34

At the beginning of the week Chad and I felt blessed. We didn’t have any outstanding bills and the fridge was stocked with groceries. Chad worked Monday and Tuesday at a church in Norman resealing a concrete floor, earning us enough money to keep gas in the car.

Last night at dinner we had our nightly dinner guest. The little boy from across the way came in and took his place at the table. After dinner the boys went out to play. They came right back in with friends and said, “the kids were wondering if you were going to make cookies tonight?”

We had cooked all the cookie dough, but still had a case of applesauce from Sam’s which we handed out until it was all gone. Finally at around 8:00, we had to lock our door to slow what had been a constant stream of children all evening.

This morning the weatherman was calling for storms about the time we would be teaching this afternoon. Even if we wanted to brave the storm we had no food or anything else for the kids. I was doing good to make lunches for the boys to take to school.

Needless to say we were generally discouraged. It would be nice to wake up and have everything in order to do all the “great” things we want to do. It would certainly be easier to give food away if we knew how it was going to be replaced, and to spend time in preparation instead of worrying.

I took the boys to school and prayed all the way home. Chad had a meeting with a pastor in town and I stayed home with Ruby to get our house in order. We waited until around 11:00 then called our volunteers to cancel the Bible Club.

The pastor Chad met with said he would call Chad later with some news. On our way to pick up the boys from school he called and said their church wanted to pay our rent for the month of May. This was a huge encouragement and burden lifted off of both of us! Our apartment has become a place of ministry and we’re thankful for it!

We came home from school and I went straight to the kitchen to make brownies. I thought, even though we weren’t able to have Bible Club across the street we could have afterschool snacks for the kids in our complex.

Just then my phone rang. It was a friend from Amarillo who moved to Oklahoma City not long before we did. She asked how we were doing and said, “I’ve been blessed with some extra money and the Lord laid you on my heart.” She followed it up by saying, “You’re not discouraged are you?”

I told her we had cancelled tonight, but were going to do what we could. She said, “Why don’t you come over here and visit with me for a while. I want to give you something.”

SO. . .I did. I got back in the car and noticed we had just enough time to make it to Sam’s, buy some food and candy and get to the apartments on time.

So . . . that’s what we did. Chad went to our apartment and loaded up our equipment. I went to Sam’s. We had great food for the kids and still had enough money left over to fill up the tank in our car and buy groceries for ourselves.

Chad and I pray everyday for God to bless in abundance so we can be a blessing. We know God can and is making a way to do great and mighty things through us. Right now we’re learning to trust.

To follow the Lord’s principle of giving in Luke 6:38 takes courage! “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Obeying God’s principle of giving is the only way to realize His eternal rewards. While we work towards to "big picture" for Truth Baptist Church we realize it requires a daily dependence of our Heavenly Father. We have committed to working as hard as we can and using the resources God provides each day as far as they go. To be faithful with as much or as little as He sees fit to bless us with.

Tonight with the sun shining through the clouds and with thanksgiving in our hearts we praised Jesus for His provision, for His grace and for another week to tell The Good News.