"The Fierce 9"

It was the last night of camp and I had run out of coping techniques. The group of girls who had set their cabin on edge all week were out of control. It’s always on the last night of camp; the kids with the greatest fears act out the most. They act out because they don’t want to go back to the way things are back home. After chapel we isolated the group of girls now known as “The Fierce 9” straight to their cabin to settle down away from the rest of the campers. Emotions were broiling; they didn’t know who to take their anger out on. I stood my ground by the door explaining that they would have to calm down if they were going to enjoy the rest of the evening. They shouted in protest, they called me names. Then a punch was thrown into the wall, leaving a fist shaped hole in the sheetrock.

I had spent the last three nights after chapel with these girls. I shared the hidden stash of Gatorades and crackers. In our group time they had the freedom to speak their minds and be rambuxious, but the conversation would always end on a serious note. No matter how tough these girls tried to act and how loud they were, the truth was that they were all wounded, scared and hurting.

Just listening to the way they described their life and the people in it who had hurt them broke my heart. Any one of the experiences they shared would be enough to harden the softest of hearts. The saddest thing I heard was the confession from many of the girls that they feel out of control emotionally most of the time and are afraid of the way their anger is destroying their life.

They needed to hear that despite their circumstances and what has been done to them; they can have peace with God through Jesus. As they grow in Him they will see the life giving fruit of Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control. They heard this truth all week long as they participated in the camp activities and they heard it again from me. We could all see that a very real spiritual battle was raging in their hearts as they wrestled with the decision to turn their lives over to God.

To be honest, when the angry girl threw a punch into the wall, narrowly missing my face, it took an extra measure of the Holy Spirit to keep from losing control myself. Pastor Chad and Mrs. Tonya came to my rescue.  

Together, Chad and I loaded up the girls in the van and took them to buy the supplies needed to patch the hole in the wall of their cabin. Instead of the radio, for entertainment on the hour-long country drive to Guymon we called mom, after mom, after grandma to explain how their daughters were behaving. By the time we got back to camp all the “tough girls” had disappeared. There was a new air of humility and meekness.

Everyday for the last two weeks since we’ve been back from camp, the same girls have been up and ready at 8:00 A.M. for the church bus. They have been serving on mission with us  delivering lunches. On Thursday I got a text from the mother of the girl who threw the punch. She said, “Miss Anna, my daughter will not be able to volunteer tomorrow. She came home from camp and asked for help with her anger. I am taking her to her first counseling appointment in the morning. God Bless!!”

         We thank God for His Word, and the power it has to transform hearts for those receive it. Thank you for praying and supporting the work at Mission OKC. May we continue to see these young people set free.

When God Resets The Stage

Last Friday night Mimi and Papa took our family to the CIRCUS! I know I’ve been  before, but it was long enough ago for me to have forgotten the bright and lively circus atmosphere. Of course, there were three rings, and we were sitting at the end of the auditorium. Between each act, the roving spotlights would go out and all we would hear was the dramatic voice of the ring master say, “Now, everyone! Turn your attention up high!”

He wanted us to look up because down below the circus roadies were moving out all the pieces of the last act. The Tigers, their trainers and their cages, the chairs and stools- all vanishing  while, at the same time, the stage was being set for the next act. 

Ofcourse, for our girls sitting next to me the darkness and emptiness in between acts made them think the show was over. 

From my seat, I could see over the railing to the entrance ramp. While the stage was being cleared and reset for the next act out front, I had the best vantage. I could see the next performers preparing for their grand entrance!

The fire jugglers were warming up, the animals were rehearsing their cues. The acrobats were ruffling their feathers. 

For me, It was more exciting to see what was about to happen next!  Every time our girls got anxious I would tell them, “Girls! just hang on! You’re going to LOVE what’s coming! The next act is even better than the one we just saw! 

Just hang on! It may be dark now, but what’s coming next is going to be so great! 

You may be in between acts right now and you think the show is over. Let me encourage you, it may just be that God is clearing the way and making ready the next great plans He has for your life! 

On Thursday mornings, I’m teaching through the book of Ruth. This morning I taught about the homecoming of Naomi. While she never lost faith in The One whom she called, "Almighty God" Naomi surely had reason to believe that God was through with her. She had lost her husband and sons and was grieving the life she once had. “I left full and came back empty” was how she described her current situation to the women of the town who were stirred by her arrival back home. 

But if you look in Ruth 1:22, you can see God setting the stage for His glory to shine. At the end of the verse it says that Ruth and Naomi arrived in Bethlehem, “. . . at the beginning of the Barley harvest.”

Imagine with me, a stage, set with all the players. Naomi and Ruth surrounded by the women of Bethlehem, all bearing witness to the brokenness of Naomi’s condition; Their shocked whispers testify to the grief and bitterness that has so dramatically altered her countenance. 

Then the lights go out on that scene. The stage is cleared. Just when you think the show is over, the lights come back up to illuminate a new season. A golden field. There stands a kind redeemer. The next act begins. Salvation is near.

Friends, open up God’s word with me and look over the rail. Look at what’s being prepared. It may be dark now, but what’s coming next is going to be so great! 

"But as it is written:

'Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,

Nor have entered into the heart of man

The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.'”

1 Corinthians 2:9

Lord Help Us!

I so wanted to give up. This time last week, I was wondering what we had gotten ourselves into and was ready to throw in the towel. Over the last few months our family has been in a horrible rut of loud, chaotic mornings ending with everyone late to everywhere. So when Tuesday morning ended up with everyone in tears, I told the kids, “Tomorrow is going to be different!” I stayed home from my class Tuesday night to instead clean out closets and organize everyone’s room. We made sure homework was done, clothes were laid out and everyone was in bed on time. We all needed a good night’s sleep in order to carry out our new mission: “Operation: Morning of Excellence!”

Well, morning rolled around and everything was beautiful. I even had time for a cup of coffee with Chad. Our goal was to be in the car by 8:30. At 8:25 I was marching the troops out the door. We were all hype and giving ourselves a pat on the back until I realized that my keys were locked in the car. 

The day before, Tiny Human had dumped out my purse in the floorboard while I was trying to clean out the car. That night, before bed, when Chad went out to make sure my car was locked it gave him the “you’re locking your keys in your car” warning honk. He came back to bed and said, “You need to go make sure you have your key”. Did I? Nope. I just took his spare key and locked the car again.

So now, here we are, locked out with all the kids ready to load up in the car. Tiny Human was trying to run down the driveway and everyone was discarding their coats and backpacks in the yard. School starts in five minutes.

Chad was on his way back to rescue us, but had already made it fifteen minutes across town. I looked over and our next-door neighbor was backing out of their driveway. They have a child in the same school as our kids. Without even thinking, I started waving our neighbor down. “Can you please give my kids a ride this morning?” I was basically shoving my kids in her car while the words were coming out of my mouth. She looked hesitant and said, “Uh, my car is kind of messy.” I laughed a nervous hysterical laugh of dismissal because I couldn’t care less at any moment about the cleanliness of her car as I did right then.

Basically, I flashed my “mom in distress badge” at this woman and commandeered her vehicle. David was looking upon me with disdain the whole time as only an 11-year-old boy can. He later told me that he sat in something wet, but knew it would be impolite to say anything; so I count that as a parenting win.

After getting the little one off to day care, I came back to my office, sat down at my desk and surveyed the diapers, toys, books and humidifier. Honestly, I got a little angry. “How am I supposed to get any work done today? How am I supposed to accomplish anything EVER AGAIN?!?”

And then I spoke the most honest words I’ve spoken to God in a long time. I spoke them loud and spoke them clear to make sure He heard me. “I CAN’T DO THIS GOD! I Can’t do any of this!”

I am confident the new challenges we’re facing are from God, but boy have they thrown our life into a tailspin. That’s why I was praying so hard, but the throne room of the most-high God is the wrong place to go if you’re looking for an “out.” Instead of permission to give up on the task He's given, you’re more likely to start seeing things from His eternal perspective. So after a long stretch of silence, there at my sticker covered desk, I tried my prayer again. “Lord, I am yours and I am so inadequate. I want to obey you, but I can’t do this without You.”

Pastor Chad and Pastor Kelly are preaching through the book of Acts. On Sunday, Pastor Kelly preached from Acts 4:24-31 where in the face of persecution and imprisonment, the apostles unanimously lifted up their voices to God in prayer. They didn’t pray to be delivered from the task of preaching the Gospel, they didn’t pray for a safe place to hide. They prayed for BOLDNESS! They prayed for God to equip them for the task at hand. And guess what! God shook the ground they were standing on and filled them with the Holy Spirit!

After the sermon, conviction lead me down to the altar to pray. “God, give me the strength and power I need to obey You in all these things.”

On Sunday night, on the eve of a new week, Chad and I gathered the kids around the table before bed. We acknowledged that things have been a little crazy over the last few months, partly because we’ve taken on a difficult task, but mostly because there are some things that need to change. I was amazed as we went around the table, how each kid shared their heart. We were all able to recognize things we need to do differently to help one another.

Then we prayed for each other by name. I can’t tell you what it did to my soul to hear these children, who have been at each other’s throats, begin to pray for each other. We all together confessed our mess to the Lord. 

This is growth that needed to happen, and I will always treasure this turning point in our lives.

Are you trying to navigate through difficult times? Have you reached your breaking point? Let me encourage you, if you know the task is from God, don’t listen your flesh telling you to give up, instead pray in faith; then wait on God to shake the ground under your feet and fill you with His power!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “16 Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. 17 For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. 18 So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Shoes For Ruby

I try not to share things on my blog that are too personal, especially dealing with finances. Mostly because I never want to seem ungrateful for all God has done for our family. He has brought us through so much, but our life is still very much a walk of faith. Every day He provides for our needs, and I thank Him because I know it is by His hand we have the things we need. Many times I want to jump to my keyboard and share, but most of the time I just treasure the miracles in my heart. This time, the Lord impressed upon me to share, because someone else might need to be encouraged. Someone else may have a need and they wonder if God sees. So I must give testimony to the good things He has done.  

Christmas is a crazy time for our family. At Mission OKC, we make Christmas boxes for the kids who are a part of our ministry. The process for gathering and distributing these boxes starts in September, while Christmas for our family usually comes together at the last minute.

Somehow, every year we end up having a great Christmas. Some years we’ve even been able to take a trip before the kids go back to school from winter break. Still, as a mother, I have a nagging anxiety through the month of December that we may not get it all done.

This year, while we were putting out our Christmas decorations, Chad and I sat down to talk about what the kids have told us they wanted for Christmas. Their requests weren’t too outrageous. Ruby asked for an Easy Bake Oven, which BTW seems to be making a big come back this year, while the boys have certain clothes and games they want. Our discussion was around getting each of them some nice clothes and shoes this year instead of a bunch of toys; then maybe one super fun thing to play with Christmas morning. We talked about budget and made it a matter of prayer.

The next day, after Chad and I had our conversation, I got a text from the mother of one of Ruby’s best friends in the neighborhood. Ruby spends so much time with this friend that they’ve tried to convince the other girls in the neighborhood they are actually sisters. Anyway, BFF’s mom had been cleaning out closets and found three boxes of brand new shoes in Ruby’s size. She texted me pictures of the “fancy” shoes and asked, “Do you want these for Ruby for Christmas? They are brand new, never been worn! You can just wrap them up and put them under the tree!”

I was so moved. We have accepted a lot of hand-me-downs over the years, but this was special. God knew the conversation Chad and I had, He knew the delicate balancing act we are trying to pull off and was already en route to provide. 

Is your heart bigger than your budget this year? Is worry blinding you to the wonder of this season? Instead of wishing on the magic of Christmas, trust in the Lord.

1 Peter 5:7 instructs, “Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.”

Someday, when our kids are grown, we’ll tell them about all the miraculous ways God provided for their great life. Right now we will teach them to be thankful to the Lord, for He is good. And His perfect Love is the greatest gift we will ever receive.  

Momma Died

When I was a college student, a young mom on my church van route invited me to a candle light party in her small unairconditioned rent house. In preparation she had set up a full display of her candles and candle holders. Arriving late, I packed into the small living room with about ten other women who, between the lot of us, couldn't have afforded to buy the seasonal candle snuffer. Still, out of politeness we sat in the heat with our backs against the fish tank pretending to sniff the candles and awkwardly flip through the catalog.

The mood changed from awkward to intense when grandma, who was supposed to be watching the kids dropped them off extra early, leaving the mom to continue her presentation with the "help" of three kids under five and under foot.

The oldest child played at the mom's feet and watched the baby. The middle child was obeying the mother's orders to "stay in your room, or ELSE" but made his presence known by yelling from his room a series of long drawn out momma calls that built in loudness and intensity, "MooooooommmmmmmAaaaaaaaHhHhhh!"
"Mommmmmmaaaaaaaahhhhh!"
"Mommmmmaaaah!"
"Mom!"
"Mom!"
"Momma!!"

Watching the mom's face as she attempted to close out her presentation was like watching Mercury rise. Nevertheless, she soldiered on until it happened. She cracked. The boy in the back hollered "momma" one too many times and finally got a reaction, just not the one he was looking for.

The smile faded, the sweat beaded up and rolled down her powdered T-zone. She slammed the candle holder down on the table and yelled back in a shrill voice, "MOMMA DIED!!"

There was a moment of silence, as we watched this young lady try to regain her composure.

Finally, the time came when I was released from this tension and candles party. Having no children of my own at the time, I judged this woman harshly. "How could any God-loving mother ever announce to her own children that she had died? And this in their moment of such intense need that they are calling out to her?!?"

Now, having three children of my own and having reached the end of our summer fun, It seems I have found my own personal threshold for the "momma call". As a matter of fact, every time I hear "mommmmmmmaaaaaaahhhhh" yelled from across the house, I think of this dear candle woman and her "MOMMA DIED!" response. "So fitting." I think to myself, "Just brilliant. I want to give that mom a hug and buy all her candles."

Hold fast mommas, we are not dead, we are still very much alive, and very important (evidently) to the little lives who call out to us. So we shall carry on with our swim supervising, game inventing and snack preparation until the time comes that they return to their studies. And we shall miss their siren call.

Front Seat Faith

This picture was unearthed from a junk drawer last week and left out on the top of my dresser. At first glance, it appears to be just a girl standing on a motel porch. To me, however this is a snap shot of a living testimony; a reminder of God’s proven faithfulness in my life. The day I found it, I was in desperate need of such a reminder.

      The girl in this picture is myself at age six, blissfully unaware of the grand faith adventure I was on. My father had been called to serve as a pastor in Anchorage, Alaska and our family had embarked upon the mother of all family road trips which began in East Texas and would take us 4,000 miles cross continent.

     Some of the things I remember about the trip are the overnight stays in “it’ll do” motels and falling asleep gazing at stars out the window of our Chrysler station wagon as we drove through the night. We enjoyed lots of picnics, and encountered as many interesting characters as there were truck stops along the way.

     At one point I leaned up and asked my dad how he knew the way to Alaska. His answer, “I’ve got a map. I just point the car in the right direction and stay on the road.” That was a good enough answer for me back then.

     I was just a passenger with my coloring books in the back of the family car going along for the ride. It was later, as an adult that I learned how the church we were called to was praying us all the way there. They took up an offering and wired it to mom and dad so we could make it through Canada. Then they took up another offering when we arrived to rent us an apartment until we found a house.

     The moment mom and dad arrived they went to work reaching out to the growing population of single adults. The entire journey was an act of faith and obedience.

     My mother kept a journal of this faith adventure. The last entry was dated the Wednesday night after we had moved into the apartment. She was excited because they had invited everyone to a “pizza fellowship” at our new home and were expecting a lot of new single adults who had never been to church.

     Last week, I longed to be the little girl in this picture instead of the woman out front. But I’d be missing out on important growth and awareness of my dependence on God. Every day when I get home from Mission OKC my body is worn out. While I cool off and rest, my brain begins to process all of the meaningful conversations, seeing the Word of God brought to life, the hugs, the smiles and the hungry bellies filled. My heart is encouraged and spiritual growth is happening in me. This is how faith comes alive, through action!

“So we do not lose heart . . .” as Paul said. “Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. As we look not to the things that are seen but are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16 &18

In His Time

On Tuesday, I was delivering lunches in an apartment complex where we have yet to serve many children. I was stocked with twenty lunches and only three kids came out to eat them. Becoming impatient, waiting in the heat for these three children to eat thoughts of "other more important things" I should be doing began to dance in my head. 

These thoughts were interrupted when the smallest little girl finished her orange. She saved the seeds in the palm of her hand. As I was packing up to leave, she held them up to me and said, "Miss Anna, will you help me make these pretty flowers?" 

Looking down at those orange seeds in her hand, at first I laughed. "Well, those aren't going to grow into flowers!" I explained. "They are going to make oranges, and you'll have to wait a looooong time." 

She looked down into the seeds kind of disappointed. Thinking on my feet, I grabbed a cup and some cotton balls out of my craft kits for the day. My plan was to put the seeds under the cotton in the cup, add a little water and pray for the best. It was better than a flat out refusal to help, but in my heart I knew those orange seeds didn't stand a chance. 

It was when I looked at the cup, that I knew the Lord was teaching me in this moment. The day before, in preparation for our craft, I'd written "The Lord keeps His Promises! Deuteronomy 7:9" on every one of the cups. 

I looked at the smile on the little girls face as she held her freshly planted orange seeds, and thought about how, really she and I are in the same boat. Everyday when we are delivering lunches and planting God's Word in the hearts of others, I feel like I'm holding up two little seeds to God and expectantly asking, "Will you make this grow into something beautiful?"  

And every day He reminds me of His promises and His faithfulness to keep His promises. The seeds that  are planted in His Name will go forward to accomplish all He has planned for them to accomplish. 

We must not grow weary! I am learning to be patient, to be faithful and grateful for these little glimpses of His Glory. 

Lunch Ministry Update

At the other two complexes on my delivery route I have a growing group of children who meet me each day. I've introduced different activities to do with the kids each day while they enjoy their lunch. We have Scripture Memory contests and good old fashioned Tic-Tac-Toe tournaments. 

On Thursday, my friend Mary Brown went along. Mary has a passion for literacy training, so we took some donated books along with us to give away. Mary sat at my table and sorted the books according to reading level. Every child received an age appropriate book and even enjoyed story time along with their lunch. 

It is truly a joy to walk with the Lord every day and witness how much He cares for those that many of us would overlook. If you would like to join us as we deliver lunches please contact me at missionokc@outlook.com or call or text (405) 694-8380