A Savior For All Seasons

I had been bracing myself all morning for the news. Trying to stay busy, to keep my mind occupied at work. When the call came, I missed it. The case worker was in court all day so she just sent the news in a text. The text message was soon followed by a call from the biological parents asking what time they could come pick up Jacob. 

Just like that, in the same unexpected disruptive way he entered our lives, Jacob would be leaving our family. There was no way to truly prepare for either event. Some things in life just happen. You have to carry on as best you can when they do. 

But why did this leaving, this tearing away have to happen on the same day my father was torn from our lives nine years ago? And why did any of this have to happen so close to Christmas? When the words “Holly, Jolly”, “Joy” and “Peace” are unavoidable. The cheerful disposition and eternally optimistic outlook is expected? 

Life goes on no matter who or what dies. The living, those with their hearts still beating, those who feel the fresh air in their lungs, we must continue to live. 

But how? 

After we received the news about Jacob, I stood in a room full of toys that we had been trying to sort into boxes just moments before. I'd lost my place. It was time for me to go pick up all the kids and somehow explain to them that this little boy they had adopted into their hearts as their brother, would not be living in our home anymore. Somehow, I have to explain to a little boy that I’m not “real” mommy, and he’s not “real” daddy and you have a new home, but it’s your old home. 

Somehow, I have to recover and keep a brave face when the little boy stops us in the middle of our muddled explanation to say, “I miss you.” 

I miss you too.  

That night I went to bed early and could feel my heart beating up in my throat. Upset is what I was, but not in an angry way. Upset in a sad and grieving way. I sat up and opened the Bible that sits next to my bed. I opened up the book, and my heart to the Word of God. I was ready to hear from Him. 

I really had one hard question, “Lord, we were supposed to receive this news last week. Why did it have to be today? Lord, I trust in You but this is hurtful. This is hard.” 

Then I read about Jacob in Genesis 28. He was on the run until sundown, laid his head on a rock and tried to rest. While Jacob rested, God opened up Heaven in his dreams to remind him of two things a child of God must never forget. 

1.) No matter the date on the calendar, no matter the season, no matter what you're running from or what you’re running towards. Whether in the blinding dawn of new life or the dark shadow of death. God says to His child, “I am the Lord Almighty.”

“And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it! And behold, the Lord stood above it and said, “I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac.” Genesis 28:12-13

2.) "I am with you."

"Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Genesis 28:15

There in our room, I could feel the reassuring presence of the Lord. I remembered how He had surrounded our family as we said goodbye to dad. How He had carried us through the last two-and-a-half years and the last few hours of this foster journey. I know that He holds the future of Tiny Human in His hands.

The Joy of knowing Jesus, the Peace He brings moved me to anticipate the celebration of His birth in a much deeper way. Emmanuel God with us. At all times, in all seasons, through celebration and grief. He is my hope, my strength my song. The lifter of my head. 

"Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "If God will be with me and will keep me on this journey that I take, and will give me food to eat and garments to wear, and I return to my father's house in safety, then the Lord will be my God." Genesis 28:20-21

Love Never Fails

Some days I wish we could go back in time. If we could, I might dial the flux capacitor back to 11:00 on that Thursday night in September two years ago. The night we got the call, the call that a home was needed for Tiny Human. The night we were asked to be his foster parents for “a couple of months.” 

Now, a couple of months have stretched into two years. While in our home and under our care, Tiny Human has learned to potty in the big boy potty, he has learned to ride a tricycle, be gentle with pets, clean up his own messes, brush his teeth, dress himself (sort-of) and help Daddy Chad make blueberry pancakes. 

He has seen the mountains, and napped in a tent through the solar eclipse, watched fireworks and met the Easter Bunny. 

He is learning how to get along with big brothers and sisters. He has learned who Jesus is and we thank Him for our dinner. We pray The Lord’s Prayer together at night and talk about Heaven all the time. 

On Wednesdays he and I have a date. On our way to appointments we take the long way and drive through a long stretch of road construction just so Tiny Human can watch the cranes and road graters, dump trucks and paving trucks do their amazing work. 

He only likes to wear “soft pants"and his Batman shirt. And you have to know the “special trick” to help him put his jacket on. (It’s like our secret handshake.)

My point is I love this boy. This boy that I didn’t even know before that September night will now forever be in my heart. His parents have made great progress and it is looking more and more like they will be reunited with their son.  

The next few months of transition are not going to be easy. We are going to feel the loss and it’s going to hurt. If I could go back in time and just say “no” we could save ourselves a lot of pain. We could protect our hearts from all the uncertainty and heartache we’ve gone through over the last two years. 

We would also never experience what it’s like to be held, strengthened, guided and encouraged by God in the midst of the fog of circumstances that is foster parenting. In the midst of not knowing, we press on with the unchanging truth; the truth of the love of Jesus that never fails. The love of Jesus that rescued Tiny Human, the same love that is healing his parents, the same love that will heal the bond between Jacob and his “real mom and dad” will heal our hearts too. His love will always be there and His love never fails. 

When we said yes to the call on that late September night two years ago, we knew there would be days ahead when we’d question ourselves. We also knew that whatever we would face on the road ahead, we would be able to face it together and His Love would be enough. Once again, Jesus has proven Himself faithful. And He’ll do it again. We will continue to count the cost and say “yes” wherever He leads.

Not Today Satan

David is our oldest son and this is his first year to play tackle football. When the school year started he didn’t want to sign up. Since all of his friends were on the team he decided to try out. Even though he got started a few weeks after everyone else,  he’s been able to catch up quickly.

Yesterday, at breakfast David told Chad and me that there is one boy on the team who follows him around the field. He stays on David’s heals through the whole practice pointing out every mistake he makes and telling David he should just quit the team.

You can imagine, as a mother, the thoughts of protection and defensiveness that immediately came to my mind. But I know our son. He is not one to back down. And honestly, I can’t think of any better training for real life than to have someone on your heels telling you to give-up. Chad and I listened, told him to ignore the guy and keep showing up.

Yesterday, when David got in the car he told me that he had “handled” the guy who wanted him to quit the team. I was a little afraid know but had to ask, “Oh, yeah? What happened?” 

“We were tackling and hitting in practice today, so I just aimed for him every time. I took him down every time. Finally, when he would see me coming, he would start running away backwards.”

I wish real life were more like 7^th grade tackle football. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to put on a padded suit and helmet and literally “take down” all people and circumstances in life that constantly try to get us to give up or quit the team?

We do have a very real enemy! The Word of God tells us that we are not warring against flesh and blood. We are not at war with each other. The battle is spiritual. 

In Ephesians 6:10-18 we are instructed to “Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”

I don’t know about you, but I won’t be run off the field today. I’m suited up in the strength and power of the Lord, I have meaningful work to do and It’s time to send the enemy running backwards.

Who or what is it trying to discourage you today? Don’t give up! Take strength in the Lord, stand and fight.

One Life Away

“9:00 AM at the Oklahoma County Juvenile Court House” I read the reminder on my calendar and knew that Tuesday was going to get off to a rough start. As a foster parent it is our responsibility to show up to court appointments for the children in our care. On this day I arrived early and sat in the courtroom for the entire morning docket.

Before the Judge entered the courtroom, an officer led a man wearing a prison jumpsuit and shackles through the side door. The man was a father who would, moments later, stand before the judge and relinquish all rights to his children. An attorney for another biological father is unable to show any measureable progress significant enough to prevent his rights from being terminated.

The gavel fell. Two more fatherless children “in the system” and

still five more cases on the docket where the futures of children were yet to be determined.

As a mother and a minister I can’t help but wonder, “what is going to happen to all of these children?”

At Mission OKC as we work in the midst of those living in poverty, I also see the effects of trauma as it is fleshed out in the behavior of children. Aggression, mistrust, developmental delays and insecurity are challenges we face everyday.

The more I learn, the more hopeful I have become that the work of foster parenting and the ministry we provide at Mission OKC is life changing for these kids. The change that comes in their lives will in turn have a lasting and positive impact on our community.

Recently, I read an article written by Brittney Schaeffer, MS, LMFT, Titled “What You Should Know About Toxic Stress.” 

In the article she defines Toxic Stress or Trauma as “an experience that overwhelms us, sometimes making us feel like we are in serious danger.”

Examples of some of the toxic stresses a child growing up in poverty might face is being a witness to domestic violence, physical or verbal abuse, not having their vital needs met and a life in constant upheaval.

In her article, Ms. Schaeffer states that, “A child that has experienced at least four toxically stressful events was 15 times more likely to attempt suicide, 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, 4 times more likely to become an alcoholic or intravenous drug user.”

Studies have shown that constant exposure to trauma actually changes the structure of the brain and as a result causes an overactive survival instinct. Trauma affected brains and bodies become flooded with stress related chemicals that not only lead to developmental delays, but a greater susceptibility to chronic disease and addiction.

Hope for Healing

“The good news. . .” as Ms. Schaeffer explains, “The brain has the potential to make new cells and create new connections—most effectively through safe, compassionate relationships with others.”

For this reason, health care professionals, mental health providers, educators, faith-based workers, and peer relationships are critically important to building resiliency to toxic stress.”

At Mission OKC we are on a mission, not only to help the children in our poverty areas make healthy connections to caring members of our community who serve as volunteers, but at the core of our ministry is the desire for them to know the Great Healer, Jesus; To know that they can trust Him with their lives as He promises to make all things new.

What will happen to all these children? They are one caring adult, one kind friend away, from healing and learning to walk with the Lord.

If you are interested in becoming a part of Mission OKC as a prayer warrior, financial supporter, or volunteer, please visit our website www.missionokc.com or contact us at MissionOKC@outlook.com.

For more helpful resources like the article sited in this post like Instilling Hope & Wellness on Facebook.