Life is full of lessons, especially when living in response to God's call. My heart is open to take in the meaning of it all. When a new lesson is gained from raising children, being a wife, loving, living and growing in the Lord - I'll share it here.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Love That Will Not Let Me Go
started off kind of rough. I had lost my keys, the set of keys with the remote.
Chad handed me his set of keys to take the kids to school so David wouldn’t be
late. Got the kids to school. Came home for our regular “staff meeting” where
Chad and I sit with our caffeinated beverages to hammer out the details of our
With my list
of errands in hand I started out the door then the following conversation took
Me: “Did you
find the other set of keys this morning?”
Me: “Well, I
know I brought them inside. Didn’t you use them last?”
because then they’d be hanging up.”
By now we’re
both standing on the front porch as I contemplate digging through the
dumpster in the pouring rain to find my
keys. Then Chad asks,
“Hey, Where’s the truck?!?”
thought you drove it last. Where did you park it?”
Now we know where the keys are. They're with the truck, but the truck is gone. Not just any truck. It was the truck my dad helped me
buy in college. I drove it home the day I bought my cap and gown
and couldn’t wait to show my parents.
This truck was the “get away” car at our wedding. It’s got history.
I drove it
out of stubbornness with two car seats in the front until Ruby was born; then
dad started driving it as his work truck. It still has his leather work gloves
and hat on the dash and I haven’t had the heart to move them out of the sun
yet. Chad is kind enough to leave them be.
couple of years have been emotionally rough, I’ve found comfort hopping in the
blue truck on the bad days for a drive to Sonic with the windows down. So, realizing that it was
gone was just. . . sad. I literally
stood in the rain and cried like that girl in The Notebook.
said “Get in the car. Let’s go find it.” We drove up one turn and there it was,
still in our apartment complex. It was
probably just some kid going for a joy ride. For some reason that made me even
more upset. The police came and took a
report, but there wasn’t much more she could do.
There is a
little boy who spends time with our boys. He was at our house last night until
it was time for the boys to take their bath and settle down for the night. His
mother is never home and she leaves him in the care of her “boyfriend” who
looks to be about 19 years old. This boyfriend has furnished “T” with a cell
phone and we suspected before he’s teaching “T” to steal. “T” was upset when I
asked him to leave last night and kept knocking on the door. The boys let him
in while I was in the kitchen, and he ran out of the house as I rounded the
corner to the living room, taking my keys on the way out to give to
his mom’s friend.
in the privacy of our own home I had a break down. “If they want to live this
way, let them all live this way!” and I went on and on. and on.
Then it hit
me like a two by four. This is how Jonah must have felt. When after delivering
an obligatory message to the Ninehvites, he went and made himself a shelter
within view of the city. He didn’t want to be in the danger zone, but still wanted to have a good view of God’s judgement.
Kind of the same way you choose your seats at the circus.
sulked and seethed, God grew a vine to provide some shade, which Jonah greatly
appreciated. “Well thank you, God!” I can hear him say. It was so kind of God to
care for his servant this way. After all, think of all the hardships Jonah had
endured! He was probably missing patches of hair and most likely has a good bit
of acid burn from his custom whale belly transit to shore. It’s hard out there
for a saint! *please note the sarcasm
Jonah thought he’d found something to like about the town, God sent a little
worm to destroy this one piece of comfort. After the shade was gone a hot dusty
wind blew through to sandblast the last little shred of pride off of Jonah’s
What follows are the greatest gifts God could ever
give one of His servants.
1.)The Gift of Correction
“But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be
angry about the plant?”
is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were
dead.” 10 But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about
this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight
and died overnight."
moments are so painful, when God speaks the hard truth to my heart like he is
with Jonah. “Anna, really?! Is this what you want your life to be about? This
worn out truck? This treasure is passing and can be gone in an instant. Keep
your eyes on eternity, daughter.”
what if my Heavenly Father indulged me in all of my earthly desires when I
pound my fist like a spoiled child? What if He never cared to discipline,
correct or instruct me. I’d be forever stuck in my spiritual “terrible 2’s”.
Ofcourse, God understands my needs! I know He cares for me when I'm hurting, but I'm so glad He takes the time to shape my heart to be more like His.
2.) A Glimpse of His Heart
“But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though
you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight.
11 And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there
are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right
hand from their left—and also many animals?”
In the heart of God is a
love so deep and so long suffering that it endured the shame and pain of a public
crucifixion. Love left the glory of Heaven and dwelt among us in humility.
As Jesus hung on the cross He endured the separation from God we're born to fear. As Jesus
cried out, “My God! My God! Why have You forsaken me!” He was enduring the separation from God that I deserve.
It’s not something to consider lightly that God gave Jonah the number
of people who would be destroyed and the live stock. He knew each one, and He
knew them well enough to know that they would be destroyed in ingnorance of the
God needed Jonah to be moved by compassion to run with an urgency and deliver the message of His love.
This is what I want my life to be about. There are a lot of appealing
things in this world, focus my eyes on what matters most to you. Give me Your heart for the lost. Give me your
eyes to see their needs. Give me more love for those who have no love to give
in return. Use this situation to bring about salvation in the home of this young man.